Alan Tholkes expected good-natured ribbing when he shared his new product idea with colleagues at HealthPostures, the ergonomic furniture company in Glencoe, Minn., that he co-founded in 1999. The idea was a gliding chair with adjustable legs and back support, but it would not be something you'd take to a softball game.
The IntimateRider (www.intimaterider.com), now being launched nationally and retailing for just under $500, is a sex aid for the physically disabled. That includes Tholkes, who became a quadriplegic at the age of 17 as the result of a car crash. The chair, he said, is especially helpful for people with spinal cord injuries, arthritis, chronic back pain and other debilitating ailments, offering support and ease of motion that allows many couples to enjoy sex again.
While inventor Tholkes, Minnesota's 1991 Entrepreneur of the Year, jokes that the "R&D (research and development) was a lot of fun," the chair, and the reason behind its development, is serious business. While tantalizing sexual messages rain down on the able-bodied, those with disabilities hear something quite different from advertisers, culture, and too often, their doctors: Silence.
"When I went through post accident rehab in the 1970's at age 18, it was one of those things that got shuffled under the rug," Tholkes said. "They taught me how to feed, dress, and take care of myself, but nobody brought up the subject of how I was going to have sex, which was at the top of my list."
As many as 11,000 Americans suffer spinal cord injuries every year, he points out, and more than 80 percent of them are males between the ages of 16 and 30. "You're young, aggressive, invincible," said Tholkes, 49, who maintains good arm function that allows him to move himself in and out of his manual wheelchair. "At that age, sex is still a predominant topic on your mind."
While many men and women with spinal
cord injuries regain all or some form of their sexual capabilities, depending on the degree of injury and its location, "society looks at someone in the wheelchair," Tholkes said, "and assumes you're not in that group anymore."
It's not only people in wheelchairs who face this reality. The website of the Arthritis Foundation (www.arthritis.org) offers "A Guide to Intimacy With Arthritis", that demonstrates a hunger for answers among a population whose sexual desires clearly haven't waned, despite often agonizing physical or emotional challenges. Among their questions:
"Because of my gnarled, knobby joints, I'm embarrassed by my body. I worry no one will want me sexually because of how I look. I don't want to be alone!"
How could I possibly believe that my guy won't sexually stray when an able-bodied woman would always have more to offer him physically?"
"It has been so long since my wife and I have made love comfortably that I hardly know how to get started. Any suggestions?"
"How will joint replacement affect my ability to have sex?
